The Damned Life
by FattySkeleton
Summary: I didn't mean to sell my soul. Lucky for me the Anti-Christ has been a bad boy, so now i've got to fix Hell's problems. And i can't get caught or the deals off and i'm going to Hell. But i might be taking a certian sponge with me when i go down.PaSr OCshm
1. ACCIDENT

I hadn't met to.

Really it was totally on accident. I had no idea that that man had been Satan. No clue at all.

I had just run in to him and spilt my poop cola on his suit, and then he threw a fit. I had just promised to pay for the god damn dry cleaning, and he had given this big creepy smile and whipped out a freaking contract thing and demanded me to sign it.

All I saw was payment. My glasses had been knocked off, and I couldn't read the fine print, even with the thing under my nose.

So stupidly, I signed.

So after my pen left the paper, flames shot up from the mall's floor and the middle class man in front of me transformed into a laughing demonic creature. Business men were creatures from Hell. I knew it.

The only reason that I'm not roasting in Hell right now is because his cell phone rang. He stopped mid laugh and answered it with a perfectly mild mannered, "Hello Honey!"

The conversation was like this.

"Again?"

"Yes, I know that I do something, the murders are starting to pile up."

"Well, the problem's not him it's the other boy, he just keeps getting moved to tears. If I knew how to protect him, I would, but Pepito doesn't want me interfering and he knows all of my followers-" around this time an enlightened look entered his face and he looks down at me, my legs had given out do to fright and I had my somehow found glasses clutched in my hand. He's quiet for awhile and then smiles. That smile chills me to the bone just thinking about it.

"Honey, I think I have the solution."

And that, my observers, is how I became the damned.

**New story and this one will be serious.**

**I hope.**


	2. Do Not Move

I stood in front of the depressing, prison-like building wondering if Hell would have been the better choice. This place just seemed to suck all that's good out of life.

I spent a few minutes more glaring at the building. Then I squared my shoulders and stomped forward. I muttered under my breath as I headed to my new class. Damned Satan.

I strode into the correct room and everyone stared at me. I admittedly saw Pepito. I had been shown his picture. I diverted my eyes and searched for the one I'm supposed to protect. I think I saw him, he was writing on a notebook and he looked kind of cute. In a scared little boy kind of way.

"Class this is our new student, new student why don't you tell us something about yourself."

I suddenly got nervous and thanked God for making me so nearsighted that my glasses were so big you couldn't even tell that I had eyes. I didn't want them to see my nervous twitch. I bent my head over so that my short brown hair covered the rest of my face, obscuring my blush.

"My name's Spencer and I really like reading. My dad owns a little ice-cream store down town. I don't have a mom anymore." I mumbled.

"Spencer? Isn't that a boy's name?"

"You LIKE reading? Nerd!"

"You must eat a lot of ice-cream to get that fat."

"You live down town? Doesn't that mean that you're a poor drug addict?"

"You don't have a mom? That must mean that she was a whore."

My head shot up in shock. What was wrong with these kids?!?! I tell them a little about me and I instantly get labeled?!?

I growled but took my seat; I can't get into a fight yet. Or at least not in front of a teacher.

But later their asses are mine.

I settled in my chair, finding it unusually comfortable, I stared at the teacher while letting the insecurities slowly seep in. My name was boyish wasn't it? And no one likes a nerd, I really could lose some weight, but I was not a drug addict and my mom . . .

No comment.

I huffed out a breath and surveyed the class. I already had some people I hated. Wait scratch that, I think I hated everyone. Even Pepito. He just reeked this self-confident air, like the world was his. But he was hot. I hate those combos.

The one who only gave me mild feelings of dislike was the boy I was sent to protect. I didn't like him much because he just reminded me of a broken toy. Useless. Used up. Breakable.

My thoughts were cut off by a piece of paper hitting my head. I looked around, and saw a kid snickering in the seat a few rows down. I picked the paper up off of the floor and unfolded it to see a badly done sketch of me drooling and saying "I a retarded nrd."

I crushed the paper in my hands and growled again. I hate this place. I hope it burns to the ground. Soon. Preferably with everyone in it.

The bell rang, waking me up from my comfortable nap. I stayed in a coma like state as I heard the room empty for lunch.

Lunch. . . I wonder if the cooking will kill me.

I was preparing to drag my body out of the chair and to the lunchroom when I heard the door open.

"Todd, I can't believe that you left your lunch, you always guard that thing with your life."

"Be quiet, I was really worked up about that story about the killer's knife."

"You really get obsessive about your stories. Hey isn't that the new girl?"

"What?"

"Right there she hasn't moved for about an hour, hope she isn't dead. No one would notice till she really started rotting."

"I don't think she's dead. Look, you can see her breathing. I think she just fell asleep."

"Really, she's a deep sleeper. She even slept through the big loud speech about how the text book is always right. I wonder what else she can sleep through . . "

"Pepito, don't! She's right- mmph!"

"Slurp"

"mmmmmm!"

"Gasp!"

"You like that Todd?"

"P-pepito d-don't please-"

"Well you did say please."

"N-no Don't-mmhhhhmmmaaa!"

I was not going to turn around. I was not going to see what they were doing, and most of all I would not let them know that I am awake.

I did my best to control my breathing and waited out a few more begs, whimpers and wet noises before the classroom door opened and closed. I waited a few more minutes before I slowly got up out of the chair and walked out of the room, headed toward the cafeteria in a zombie like state.

I hate my imagination. It is just to good at visualizing what those two boys were doing.

**maybe i should change the rating . . .**


	3. deal with me

I wandered into the lunchroom and tried to clear my mind of the things I had heard by looking at the HORRIBLE food that was before me. I was not going to eat that crap.

I decided to go to Todd. He was the reason I was here.

I walked easily to the table he was occupying with Pepito. I walked over to the side of him that wasn't occupied by the Anti-Christ and plopped my big booty down. I reached into my bag and pulled out a book.

I was rewarded with a blush from Todd before I began to read my book ignoring the world. I was quickly pulled out of my book paradise by a crash and a squeak.

I looked up and thought, 'Oh damn.'

A football playing retard had his foot on the table where he was leaning toward Todd with a leer.

"So, book boy, I see that you took nerd whore up real fast huh?" he said this with so much confidence and stupidness that he didn't even see Pepito's eyes glow red. I decided to step in real quick.

I loudly slammed my book shut and looked up at the guy in front of me. "What did you call me?"

"I called you a whore, fat ass." He said with a sneer obviously expecting me to cry. Bastard. I flicked my eyes to Pepito, he still looked pissed but he didn't seem to care if I got insulted, he just had Todd in a hug and was whispering to him.

I gracefully got out of my seat, and shot a hand across the table and grabbed the bastards balls. He gave a satisfying yelp.

"Listen to me asslicker. I have no problem yanking these raisins off of you to ensure that your stupidity never gets passes on, but sense I might get blood on my book, I'll leave them attached for now. But watch your back, I hold grudges and I like it hot or cold. Do you understand?"

He whimpered and said, "Yes!"

"Yes what?" Squeeze.

"Yes I understand!! Please let me go!"

I released him and wiped my hand on his shirt before he ran away. I felt better. I always felt better after causing an ass some pain. I settled back into my chair and opened my book.

"Ummm?"

I looked up. It was Todd.

"Yes?"

"Were you serious?" he asked with a high voice.

I reached up and pulled down my glasses so he could see my eyes. The dark chocolate orbs dug into his milk chocolate ones.

"I was damned serious." I pushed up my glasses and began to read my book again. Ignoring his shiver and the slight glare thrown at me from Pepito.

I don't screw around and these boys had to know that, because I was now stuck to Todd like ugly on a toad.

**somebody read my story!!!**


	4. Short span of Nny boots Huh?

"Would you please leave me alone?"

"No."

"Leave him alone chica, you don't want me to get mad at you."

I turned toward him slightly in my seat always keeping Todd in my sight. "Well, Mr. Scary I just can't leave something as cute and innocent as this little cutie alone with you now can I? I've heard some rumors that you're very . . . diverse with your sexual perferances. So you can't be trusted alone with this sweet little boy."

By the time I finished my speech I had my arms wrapped around Todd while looking all "I don't trust you pervert"-ish at Pepito while he ground his teeth. I knew he wanted to be where I was. I had decided that the best way to protect Todd and not be suspicious would to pretend that I have a white knight complex. It was fun to pretend to be this stupid.

I smiled up at Todd, his awkward/get this crazy chick off me! face was so cute!

I think I'm sadistic. Oh well!

We were on a bus and damn was it creepin'. I felt like everyone was staring at me. I would say they were demonic if I hadn't lived and breathed demonic, so I'll say that they were just nosey people who needed to see plastic surgeons. Or wear paper bags.

I had followed them on, I think we were going to Todd's house, if the increasing freak out look in his eyes were anything to go on. I don't know why he was so worried. I mean his parents couldn't be THAT bad, right?

"Little boy?" Pepito said after awhile, he was kind of slow at comebacks, "That 'kid' you're hanging off of is 17."

This was something I was not aware of. "17? But he's a freshman? Are you just really dumb Todd? Cause I could have sworn you were smart."

"N-no I'm kind of smart. I-its just that I was taken out of school for awhile for . . . medical issues. I had to be put in a special hospital for a couple of years so I was held back."

"Oh, do you have a medical condition?"

"Not anymore, it's been fixe-SQEEE!"

I jumped at the sudden girly squeal and looked around for the cause. Nothing had changed on the bus except a tall skinny man in a black leather coat had gotten on the bus. Maybe he's goth phobic! But if he was then he would run screaming in terror at the sight of Pepito, with his choppy haircut, pierced eyebrows, and death metal clothing he would give Todd a heart attack. So maybe it had something to do with the man's really big smile. Am I happier than usual? Must be the sugar rush from all the ice cream I eat.

"Hello Squee! Man, you've grown. Are you still listening to that bear full of LIES!" He screamed the last bit at us. But all I could think was "Squee?"

"M-mr. Scary Neighbor Man! I though you moved!"

"Naw! Just went on vacation! To get rid of any possible emotions that might still attach me to human life! It didn't work. Won't you introduce me to your friends?"

"G-guys this is Johnny, he likes to be called Nny. Nny this is Pepito and Spencer." Squee looked like he was about to pass out. I hugged him.

"Johnny, Johnny, Nny . . . AH! You work for my dad, you know, Mr. Diablo."

"Ohhhh, you're Satan's son huh? Well, Todd could have worse friends so I guess I won't have a reason to kill you, or yet at least. So Spencer! What does you're parents do?"

I looked up from wear I had been staring at his awesome boots, "I'm sorry, what? Your amazing boots distracted me. Where did you get them?"

I have a very short attention span, and besides what could that skinny guy do?

"Oh, these? I don't remember. But most people don't like them. Those people . . ."

"Not LIKE them?!?! What the hell? Those boots are amazing! The separating toe is pure genius! Double the damage when you kick those non-believers in the soft, squishy bits before the internal bleeding cuts off their nerves!" My really creepy evil smile that made Todd move to hug Pepito," Then of course you have to narrate the horrible acts you're doing to them one at a time while all they can do is scream till they aren't breathing to scream anymore. . ." I twist my hands like a super villain that's waiting for the hero to die a horrible death in front of me. Then I remember that I was in front of people that I was exposed to make think I was a nice white horse riding kind of girl. Shit.

"Umm, or not?" I bit my lip and looked up at the faces of the people near me. Pepito was looking at me with something between a mix of warning and wondering if he should try to get me in his army. Todd appeared to have super eye widening powers, but he didn't look traumatized just ready to run to china. Nny looked like he was wondering if he should take notes.

"Isn't this our stop?" I said to break the ice.

"Hmm? Oh, it is. Well lets got Todd, I want to play some games before I have to go home. Bye Nny, Bye Spencer."

"Oh, I'm going with you guys. I just can't leave two handsome single men together! It would be against your manliness!" I trailed behind them as I waved to Nny from the ground through the bus window. I think some guy made a rude comment to him about dating underage girls before the bus turned the corner. If I read his lips right. Oh well.

I trailed after the boys like a weird dog lam thing and we stopped in front of the second most repulsive house I've ever seen. The first most repulsive was the one next to it.

They walked up to the door walked in and slammed it in my face.

I regained my slight dislike for them.

I walked around the house and wondered if it would be hard to climb the side of the house.

**i'm losin' my seroius-ness. dang it.**


	5. The Bear is entered

I flopped through the open window and slid to the floor breathing hard. 'God! I really should lose some fuckin' weight!'

I caught my breath as I looked around the room. The wallpaper was really creepy. Not that you could see a lot of it. There were pictures ranging from being drawn with crayons to expertly done charcoal on the walls, all of them creepy.

I struggled up off of the unusually clean for a teenager floor to get a closer look at some of them.

There were some done of devils, beheaded rabbits, a bloody room, a silhouette of a very thin person with glowing eyes. But I found one picture that looked mostly un-creepy.

It was a picture of a smiling teddy bear. It was sitting on a bed with an unfocused child hugging it.

I went to a dresser in a corner and looked at the framed photos. They were mostly of Pepito and Todd, but there seemed to be a group picture with a pretty blond woman and the devil in a human disguise.

I heard a noise behind me and whipped around to see that a teddy bear on the bed had fallen over. I walked over to it and picked it up. I jumped a little when I saw its face. It was the bear in the picture.

"Holy shit, you scared me you little bugger." I looked it over and traced the coarse stitches on its stuffed body. "Wow, either Todd really treats his toys badly or somebody really didn't like you with something pointy."

"It was the last one."

I whipped around with the bear clutched to my chest as I heard the voice. There was no one at the door.

"Who the fucking hell said that?"

"Oh, are you hearing voices? I wonder if you're as diseased as Nny."

"Alright, who's there? I refuse to think that I have a voice in my damned head."

"Tsk, tsk, such a potty mouth."

"Either show your fuckin' self or I swear to what ever god you worship to find you later and drag you to hell when I go down. And Stop talking about how I talk. Bastard."

"Very well, I'm the stuffed toy in your arms."

I looked down at the bear I had smashed to my boobs and thought that over, "Yeah, yeah, with how my life's been I'll buy that, so mister teddy bear, why the hell are you talking?"

" . . . just like that you except the fact that an inanimate object is talking to you? Don't you think that you're crazy or that the voice you hear is electronically?"

I gave the bear a look. "Honey, a week ago I would be thinking that you where a sugar induced illusion, but that was before I met the Devil. So spill Mr. Cuddly."

I think the bear gave me a look even though he couldn't move. "I'm a trauma sponge. I'm the reason that Todd hasn't tried to kill himself or other people yet. I was his childhood imaginary friend but because he was introduced to so much negative energy that I started to develop my own personality. It was tainted by all the negative energy that I absorbed so I wasn't the beast person for an impressionable child to talk to, and ever since he met his male friend the window of opportunity to talk to Todd as closed. He's being too protected by him. I no longer have the steady stream of negative energy to feed me."

I let the silence lengthen to awkward as I mulled over what the bear had said. That was pretty creepy. And how bad of a childhood had Todd had to create a critter that fed off of emo dispositions? It must have been worse than MINE.

I looked the bear over and felt the sudden erg to take him with me. But then I would be B&E with stealing. . .

Oh what the fucking Hell! I'm going there anyway, might as well take the fucking Emo bear with me.

"What's your name?"

The bear seem startled. "The name I was given is Shmee."

"Well Shmee, my name is Spencer and I'm taking you with me."

I picked up the bear and walked out of the room and went downstairs, I walked past the boys making out on the couch and walked out the door while yelling, "By guys I'm leaving early! Use a condom!"

As I walked down the sidewalk, a bear tucked under my arm, I heard Todd yell after me.

"HOW THE HECK DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE?!?!?"

I turned, walking backwards, and cupped my hand around my mouth, "WITH A LOT OF DAMED EFFERT!!!!"

**I have decided to put in a weird pairing so i have to rearange the thinger ma jig. yeah. . .**


End file.
